3. What fears do you have in this situation?
Part of what I'm learning in this period of intense growth is the release of fear, so this question is rather complicated for me. I initially want to say that I have none.
I guess in the broad sense I don't have any specifically related to these transitions, but I do have some "secondary fears."
First would be the typical fear of "failing," or in this case, of losing the momentum I have gained and slipping back into old habits. Of making the same bad lifestyle choices I used to make. But I'm seeing more and more that the Journey toward wholeness NEEDS slip-backs. I need to mess up a few times to have actual proof that the new ways work better, and make me feel and behave better, than the old ways.
The other big fear would be the what-others-think-about-this fear. This has more to do with the spiritual changes I'm undergoing. I was raised extremely fundamentalist Christian. And I'm beginning to believe many things about God and the universe that are extremely NOT fundamentalist. These new insights are bringing me into closer relationship with the Divine, with my Purpose, and with my place in the Universe. But they're not beliefs that will be widely accepted by many of my nearest and dearest. I guess I fear their complete rejection of me as begin to grow more confident (and more vocal) in my new beliefs.
Hmm...
Writing this has made me realize something…
These are not new beliefs.
These are not ideas that I've randomly picked up. They are thoughts and impressions and insights that I have always had. Questions I wanted to ask even as a young child. Things I wanted to discuss as an adolescent. But I didn't. Because if you question too much, if you allow yourself to doubt, if you don't believe everything you are told, then you are going to Hell.
In the end, it doesn't matter if other people like what I believe or not. My faith, my spirituality… they are my business. It is MY intimate relationship with the Creator. And just like I wouldn't let someone else into my bedroom during an intimate moment, I don't need to let anyone into that intimate space either.
I think the realization of fears is a necessary step in any change/transition process. If you cannot name and acknowledge what you fear, then you cannot release that fear. And the release of fear is a vital step in growth.
What fears do you need to release?
1 comment:
This was quite interesting. I too have spent many years under the influence of fundamentalist doctrine. I chose it for myself and loved it for a while. But then things got complicated; the rules were too many, and the teachings weren't lining up with what my gut was telling me. I used to sit in church and chide myself for not agreeing with the preacher. I felt like a rebel, or as some of the elders called me, a Jezabel. How hurtful when you must leave your own convictions outside the church doors and swallow somebody else's belief system in order to feel secure and worthy before God.
Well, those days are gone! I'm me and I love it. I avoid religious conversations with some of my old friends, This seems to be the easiest way to go as I would never want to put a stumbling block in their paths. My way is good for ME. Yup.
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